Silence

What can you truly say when everyone screams?

Well, hello it’s me, haven’t seen you in a while. I wish I talked to you more when I was alive. You thought I was self-assured when I acted shy.

Hello, it's me.

I have read the comments that those who had subscribed to this thing have left me before departing: I didn’t follow up, I failed to keep you entertained, and I refused to continue sharing *content* out of my head. Yes, I did and yes, I do. Slowly I am beginning to return to the world after a season of loss that left me gasping for air. Whatever the reality of the last decade - and then some more years - had been like, it all stopped a day before the end of the year. And through my grieving, many times I attempted to get back on my feet, and push through and pull myself by some of those imaginary bootstraps… only to have the masks from people who looked like friends but weren’t, fall off in record time - and to witness places that sounded great in theory become nothing of the sort after setting my feet in them a few times. But that’s another story for another day.

Projections on the digital media landscape are always illusions.

Increasingly, I feel alienated by it, “the Internet, the world wide web, yet the outside world of Nature, beckons me. Every day, the fictional constructs of a realm that wasn’t built by God, but by Hubris, feel more distant. The mirage has turned into a dystopia and I loathe to stare at it.

Things that have been repeated ad nauseam, get repeated, and misunderstood and then repeated again, like a broken telephone and, then, new swathes of strangers arrive and they repeat the same and pretend that they invented the concept. Nobody listens. A cacophony of utterances where mice and hyenas pretend to be lions and leopards. And we all think of ourselves as the salt of the Earth.

Meanwhile, I seek a garden of solitude, stillness, privacy, and even secrecy.

Opening social media now feels like a chore.

Is anyone else feeling this?

I’m exhausted by the constant voices of strangers trying to promote this or that vision in an Interzone where nothing is true.

Amidst such discordant noise, the only possible answer can be quiet.

Why even speak at all?

We must learn to enjoy the silence.

With love,

Lady A.